According to Webster perfection means..."completeness in all parts or details, the highest excellence or skill, a quality or thing that cannot be improved, laking nothing, having no mistake, error or flaw".
Yeah, that's me! Not! Perfection is not a word to describe any of humanity; though there are many people we encounter daily who believe that perfection is not only achievable, but is a top ten word to describe themselves.
When I was young my step-father was a major influence in my life...he had designed for me the "plan of perfection" for my life. This plan included high performance academically and on "the team" (this would include basketball and tennis, my sports of choice), cleanliness in the denoted areas of the house according to his chore chart (this included the lawn and pool), attire and speech for the White House (especially when other adults may be present), a disdain for activities that involved pure relaxation (those who might participate in these activities would be considered "lazy", "unmotivated... to their own demise", "couch potatoes").
Have you ever heard of this plan for perfection? My step-father would often remind me (practically daily) that a life that included this kind of attention to detail would lead to the successful and rewarding existence that he had achieved ( He is now working on marriage number four).
My other parents modeled a similar approach to life. My father exemplified his strong Jewish heritage in his greatly measured worldly success. He traveled to many countries, living in a few of them for a couple years at a time while working for a large pharmaceutical company. He continues to "perform" at an even larger pharmaceutical company as its Vice President; he will retire some time next year (he is 57 years old). My mother is a successful, self-motivated small businesswoman (She is working on marriage number four also).
I live each day of my life in turmoil because of the early adolescence programing I received. I no longer measure success in how I "behave"; my parents' idea of a life of perfection has long since failed me, and I look to a new role model for understanding. I know that there is no human means for receiving love, acceptance, peace or joy (all of which I needed and desired from my parents). It is through a relationship with God that I now have the ability to see myself as the sinner that I am and always will be. This is not to say that being a sinner is a state of being where I find comfort, but it is to say that I realize I cannot be perfect.
In the book of Romans, the Apostle Paul states, "All have sinned, all fall short of God's glorious standard" (Romans 3:23, NLT). Now that I have accepted the fact that I cannot be perfect, the part of this verse that is most troubling to me is the "God's glorious standard" part. I have found that we humans (including myself) have taken it upon ourselves to determine what God's standards are meant to be. We have decided who is guilty, why they are guilty, and how to condemn them for it. I'm not talking about the death penalty (although I completely reject it), I'm talking about every day life, I'm talking about the "Church".
The reason I continuously revert back to my old self (the one who thinks I can be perfect) is because I am made to believe by those around me that in order to even receive an ounce of respect and acceptance I must meet their expectations and more importantly...I must "behave". I think this is why the Apostle Paul writes about, in a post-conversion dialogue, his struggle with sin. He states, "I don't understand myself at all, for I really want to do what is right, but I don't do it. Instead, I do the very thing I hate" (Romans 7:15, NLT). Paul's humilty about his own struggle with imperfection should be a more emphasized lesson to the Church.
If our expectation inside the Church is that those who dare to step foot inside its walls must do so prepared to "behave" we are completely dismissing the point of God's sacrifice at the cross. I see "God's glorious standard" as a standard we cannot and will not ever even come close to achieving. We, by human standards, cannot even define it. Yet, many withhold love, respect and acceptance to those around them for the very thing they themselves will never obtain...perfection.
I love my parents very much, with God's help I have been able to extend to them the love and respect they deserve from me. It isn't always easy and often I mess things up; then, I have to start over...I am thankful that God gives me that opportunity. I challenge you to give someone in your life, maybe someone who has really messed things up, another chance! I challenge you to look at yourself before you condemn someone else. I challenge you to accept people as they are...broken and imperfect. I challenge you to accept your own brokenness and seek out the only one who can restore you...Jesus Christ.
Hoping for grace, Renee